Wisdom From Gramps ...

* Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries. * Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin his salt, that he forgets his sugar. * Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good. * When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. * If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag. * On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past - but never the present. * A foolish husband says to his wife, Honey, you stick to the washin, ironin, cookin, and scrubbin. No wife of mine is gonna work. * The bonds of matrimony are a good investment, only when the interest is kept up. * Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew, and make beds, and is in good health, and hes already used to taking orders. * Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age, and start bragging about it. * The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. * Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. * How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? * When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth.... remember about Algebra. * You know you are getting old, when everything either dries up or leaks. * I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. * One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. * Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. * Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you. * If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you wont have anything to laugh at when you are old. * First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper, but its really worse when you forget to pull it down.